A Fun House Mirror of Empathy

TL;DR: The President’s racism is clear and not debatable. I’m trying not to hate in 2018, so what can I learn from him instead? Empathy.
He’s the empathy gauge that America’s always needed.
Only racists, bigots, and people with large empathy blind spots align with him.
Am I one of those types of people? Are you?
Do you want a country with more empathy or less?
We all need to decide and take action.

There are many examples of 45’s racist/bigoted beliefs before he said “shithole countries.” I feel no need to debate that here.

And there are many intelligent takes about systemic racism, white supremacy, political language, unconscious bias, etc that are worth your time.
This isn’t one of those either.

I’m trying to live #LOVE2018 within myself. In order to do that I need to find some positive even in the negative, and especially when I want to rage flip a table after watching the President on TV.

He makes it too easy to hate him. But I know hating him will only hurt myself in the long run. I don’t want that feeling of hate and anger living within me.

Trumpito isn’t here to be a President, otherwise he would act like one without being a national embarrassment. He’s mentally incapable of acting like a true President.

So what is he? He is the ANTITHESIS of EMPATHY.

What purpose? What can I learn from his pathetic example of humanity?

He’s a barometer. A gauge.

He’s America’s Empathy gauge, here for us to compare own empathy pot holes against his.

People with low empathy resonate with 45 because he’s not politically correct, just as they typically describe themselves. They’re glad to finally have their POV validated by a ‘successful’ archetype of American capitalism. In their eyes he’s the embodiment of the American Dream, and if HE doesn’t even bother using the right words, why should they?

People excusing his damaging words by publicly (or privately) stating,
“Well, he kinda has a point he’s just not being PC about it” or “this is dinner table talk” have an empathy pot hole in that very same area.

It’s that simple.

Being PC with your words might be one of the easiest ways to show empathy.
It means you care just enough about others to consider how your words will be received. You’re putting someone else’s needs before your own. The President can’t even comprehend someone else’s needs.

Being thoughtful about your own words is literally the least you can do for someone you’re communicating with! And ultimately better communication helps the greater good.

The President doesn’t modify his communication style because he’s an entitled narcissist that’s never had to before. It’s worked for him for 71 years, why start now? If we don’t want to be entitled, self-centered, narcissists then we need to notice the differences, and act accordingly.

I’m picturing a distorted fun house mirror shaped like the President.
When you step in front of it, you’ll only see your reflection when your empathy pot holes align with his.

No mirror reflection: Great! You’re a pretty empathetic person (but we all need empathy work).

Does hearing “Shithole countries” sound okay (just not very PC) to you?
Is that your dinner table talk?
You have a large empathy pot hole towards immigrants, especially PoC from poorer nations. Here’s your fun house reflection.

“I don’t care about being PC!”  = low empathy reflection. Pot hole

“But the stock market is way up! The economy is great! ”
Money > People = empathy pot hole.

“But let’s look at the data…” Numbers > People = pot hole.

I recently read a tweet that said “Facts don’t care about feelings.”
That’s absolutely true. Facts don’t care!
Nice people care about feelings
Decent people care about feelings!
That’s part of our humanity.

If we want to become better human beings, we need to care about feelings.
We need more empathy.

Agreeing with the President in 2018 says more about YOU more than any other President has before.

That’s his purpose.

He’s here to show us what happens when a man so bereft of humanity and empathy runs one of the greatest countries in the world. We must recognize it, learn from it and become better people and a better Nation.

Right now, that is the only good I can see coming from this administration.

I know some people gladly voted for him because of his bigoted and racist views.  Thankfully they are not the majority in our country, and never will be. I know many people who voted for him that I would never call racist.

I think most people who voted for him thought he’d ‘shake things up’ and that’s what this country needs. He’s definitely shaking things up.

Again, our country needs more empathy, not less.

At this point anyone still aligned with 45,
still defending the words he says, his hate, his lies, I’m done feeling anger towards them.

I pity them because they lack empathy in their lives. They’re not giving empathy, and they’re not receiving empathy from someone that truly cares. I know what that feels like and it sucks. I also know what it’s like to feel forgotten, then have someone start listening only to be conned by them in the end.

I hope everyone’s empathy barometer gets switched on, and we all start taking some readings and making adjustments.

Until Trump supporters start showing otherwise, I’ll presume they’re not very empathetic, and proceed accordingly. ✌🏽

Redefining Masculinity in 2018

This morning I woke up wanting to find a podcast that parallels where I am on my own journey of seeking what it means to be a man in 2018.

A podcast for men who are searching to become better men (and ultimately better people) by dropping the facade of (toxic) Masculinity that we are raised by in our culture. I’m not trying to deny my masculine traits and instincts. I’m trying to bring better balance to them by strengthening the feminine ones that also live within me, and all other living things. And if it happens to help dismantle the Patriarchy that’s been ruling the world forever, I’m totally cool with that too.

I picked up my phone to search the Googles, and saw that I had this text waiting for me from a good friend:

I hadn’t heard of Justin Baldoni, or watched ‘Jane the Virgin’, the tv show he’s on starring Gina Rodriquez. But it sounded like his TED Talk might be just what I was looking for so I watched. Then I watched it again. It really resonated with me.
I was wondering why I hadn’t come across this video during my prior searches, and realized that his video was just released FIVE DAYS AGO.
Justin also has a new website – We Are Man Enough where he has meaningful conversations with small groups of men about:
We’re at the beginning of a movement for change. It gives me hope. And I’m glad to see many other men like me out there that are ready for it.

Jeff and I are switching on the growth mindset

TL;DR: Fun dog video of Jeff learning to “find it”.

I like to learn by doing.

But I used to avoid learning new tech because it was too intimidating and made me feel foolish or out of touch.

I’m quite comfortable with my etch-a-sketch thank you, why fuq around learning something new and get all stressed?

For 2018 I say Chalé that.  I’m trying to find joy in everything, wherever it is.

So today I learned some basic iMovie stuff (super easy and I feel foolish for avoiding it), and I’m still learning messing around here on WordPress.

Meanwhile Jeff is learning how to find what I want him to!

Turns out his adorable doggo sniffer is not just boopin’! Who knew?

And I’m also learning how to train him to find things, thanks to my awesome, animal loving friend Gerri!

Jeff and I had a lot of fun making it this video, and we hope you have fun watching it!


What’s your comfortable etch-a-sketch that you’re still holding onto? Toss it aside and learn something new. You won’t regret it!

BTW: I was legit surprised by what he did at the end! You could even say I was FLOORED! #dogdadjoke